Tags

, , , ,

I’ve never been a “go to the club every weekend” kind of guy, but I do like to cut a rug from time to time.  The best time I’ve ever had at a club was graduation night at Club Soho in ATL.  The DJ played “No Limit Soldiers” and everyone absolutely collectively lost their shit.  For the next 20 minutes straight, he played nothing but No Limit classics.  “Break ‘Em Off Something” damn near started a riot.  It was almost orgasmic.  I’ve never ever been that crunk in my life. Even though someone poured a magnum of champagne on my head, even though my eyes were on fire, even though I was losing my voice, I was still straight up ‘bout it out on the floor.  It was the perfect way to end my college experience.  And to cap off the night, my boy K-Dawg said the single funniest thing ever uttered in my presence.  Dem were the days.

LL Cool J – Doin’ It

“Tomorrow I’ll take you back downtown. [wink & lip lick]  Nightclub.  Mickey Mouse Club.  Science Club.  Gentlemen’s club.  We have at our disposal, a multitude of clubs to patronize for various, often deleterious, reasons.  So let’s focus on the deleterious, shall we?  “Doin’ It” is a great joint to two-step at the club toSo yeah, this was pretty much the strip club anthem during the summer of ’96.  My cousin and I went often that summer.  And by often I mean, every single weekend.  If we missed a weekend, we made up for it the next time.  But no matter what club we went, this joint was played several times a night.  Maybe it was different in other parts of the country, but Jacksonville strippers certainly loved James Todd.  God bless him.

Jay Z – I Just Wanna Love You (Give It To Me)

“I wish I never met her at all.” ATL.  Club Liquid. New Year’s Eve.  2000.  Me, Smooth, K-Dawg, Big Sean, J-Bugg, and Ace get absolutely wrecked off of screwdrivers in my car outside the club.  As soon as we get in the club, where do we make a beeline?  The bar.  Why?  Because shitfaced > wrecked all the time.  Don’t worry, K-Dawg was the DD. At any rate, after a half hour I was stumbling like Fred Sanford on a Champipple bender.  But when this song came on, new found coordination shot directly into my spine.  I practically ran to the dance floor and grabbed the closest female I could find.  My limbs didn’t really work, but I was working it on the floor.  That weekend was stupid.

Beenie Man feat Mya – Girls Dem Sugar

“Angel.  You’re mine.”  There was a point earlier in the Millineum when a Neptunes beat  could be hit or miss.  Not to say the miss would sound bad, it’s just that the miss probably sounded almost exactly like the hit.  Nevertheless, this little ditty hit on all cylinders.  This song makes you wanna grab the closest 5’5” pretty young thing, rocking the Apple Bottoms and dripping with smell good, and bum rush the dance floor so you can two-step way past the respectable limits of two-stepping.

Junior M.A.F.I.A (But really Biggie feat Li’l Kim) – Get Money

“Why she wanna stick me for my paper?”  It’s taken me about 20 minutes to write this because I can’t keep my hands out of the air.  You know how dope the song is, but I want to talk about the abomination that was Junior M.A.F.I.A.  I tried listening to the album, but halfway through I came to the conclusion that my time would be better spent repeatedly punching myself in the face with a diseased elephant’s dick.  When Biggie heard the album he was probably like, “Well, at least I sound straight.”

Strafe – Set It Off

“Ya’ll want this party started right?”  Now I won’t profess to know what it was like to rock out to this in 1984, but I do know it’s a crucial track.  My cousin used to bump the Hell out of this song when I was a kid.  I heard this track so much, I actually tried to set it off once.  In retrospect, I probably should have just set it down.  My left shoulder hasn’t been the same since.